Confirmations

Lately, I’ve been getting confirmations that I am moving in the right direction in writing this book. Last night, for example, I turned on the TV. I haven’t watched TV in months. In fact, I don’t even have cable at my house. But I am currently enjoying some alone time while I house sit for a friend, and I was in the mood to see a movie.

I flipped on HBO just as a documentary was beginning called Boy Interrupted. It’s about a boy named Evan Perry who committed suicide at age 15. His parents are film makers and they created this documentary to honor Evan’s life; process the events leading up to his death; deal with the grief, and communicate a message that it’s not only OK to talk about mental illness, it’s vital. Here is a link to the documentary preview:

Boy Interrupted Trailer

In it, we also learn that Evan’s uncle (father’s younger brother) killed himself when he was 22 years old. I have to believe that depression, bi-polar disorder and being at risk for suicide is genetic/ hereditary. There are instances of suicide on both my mom and my dad’s side of the family, and it was interesting to see that this connection had occurred with the Perrys as well.

This is the first time that I’ve come across a work about suicide that I felt a solid connection with. It was real, honest, intense and true. I wrote last night and I cried for the Perry family. I cried for my family too. I compared the similarities and the differences between Evan and Brad (and even myself at times). I think that more people need to see this documentary. Every parent should see it, as should every teenager. Anyone who’s suffered from depression or bi-polar disorder should watch, and so should families who have dealt with such a tragedy.

Confirmation #2: I woke up this morning and I turned on the radio station to hear the DJs talking to a man who had called in about this story:

http://www.tampabay.com/news/health/medicine/article1005344.ece

It’s about a 7-year-old boy in Foster Care who committed suicide. He was given psychiatric drugs without parental consent, and he killed himself by hanging from a shower hose at the facility.

The man who called the show was outraged because his daughter had also attempted suicide. He was trying to make a point about how terrible it is that children are administered psychiatric drugs without the parents’ knowledge. This gentleman was also placing blame on the radio show, insinuating that this boy may still be alive had the station done something to increase awareness about mental illness in children. Apparently, the man had tried to contact the DJs on numerous occasions but his attempts were unsuccessful. I think the man’s initial message was stemming from a good place, but he came across like a jerk. In turn, the show hosts questioned his parenting skills and called him crazy.

This is a prime example of how mixed up and confused people become when the topic of suicide arises. This man was angry and his words were coming from a place of deep emotion and fear for his daughter’s well-being. I’m sure that he also felt grief for the boy who died. The way that he approached the radio DJs, though, was threatening and accusatory. The DJs were immediately defensive, and they responded with mean words. The man’s message did not come through the way that it should have. Instead, the listener was made to think that the father was responsible for his daughter’s suicide attempt. The reason for his call was masked over with conflict and rage between the show hosts and the father.

Things like this keep happening… I randomly met a man at Target a few months ago. We were wearing the same shirt, in support of the organization, To Write Love on Her Arms… it’s a charity that aims to increase awareness about depression, bi-polar disorder and cutting. I asked him about his shirt, and he told me that his mother had killed herself. I drove over the Skyway Bridge recently, just after a young woman had jumped to her death and then I heard the news story hours later on the radio. People are sending me emails and messages, speaking out about their own battles with mental illness.

I believe that these are confirmations – that the universe is telling me I’m on the right path and I need to write this book.