Hoop Path Retreat Reflections Part 1

Light. Bliss. Acceptance. Positive Transformation. Meditation. Gratitude. Happiness. Calm. Silence. Beauty. Talent. Music. Hugs. Flow. Appreciation. Amazement. Tears. Fire. Warmth. Comfort. Community. Introspection. Self-Love. Smiles. Patience. Sharing. PE*A*CE.

These are just some of the words that come to mind when I reflect on this past weekend. I returned from the Hoop Path Retreat in Carborro, North Carolina yesterday evening. Before diving into my incredible experience at the retreat, I want to take a moment to explain what the The Hoop Path means to me and why this event is so significant.

When I talk about ‘finding the light’ and overcoming depression, I often discuss healing through movement meditation – specifically hoop dance. Hoop dance is my passion, my stress relief and my creative outlet for self-expression. It’s also my portal to happiness. I began hoop dancing in 2007 after a friend (Kacey from Homespun Hoops) introduced me to it. At the time, Kacey was taking a few months off from her career to attend music festivals and sell her hand-made hoops. She invited me over one day after work. We had some wine and then ventured outside to ‘hoop.’ Kacey handed me a large hoola hoop and encouraged me to try it. This hoop was different than the hula hoop I remembered playing with as a child. It was larger, heavier and it rotated slowly around my waist. I watched with awe as Kacey danced with her hoop. I was blown away by the grace and beauty of her movements. I found the experience to be meditative, rhythmic and soothing. Kacey made me my own hoop that day, and this marked the beginning of my personal hoop path. It was also a low point for me, in terms of depression.

For a few months, the hoop sat in my apartment untouched. Kacey moved back to South Carolina, and my depression got worse. I was in an unhealthy relationship and negative thoughts were constantly running through my mind. The sadness was consuming me, though I hid it well. One evening, I went to see a band with some friends. I noticed a couple girls hoop dancing. They looked so peaceful as they flowed effortlessly to the music. I watched, reflecting on how much fun I had in the backyard with Kacey. I got home that evening, moved my furniture around, and danced with my hoop in the living room for hours. It felt good.

In the months that followed, I obsessively watching videos on You Tube and Tribe.net. I cyber-stalked the masters on my computer… Spiral, Christabel, Baxter, Ann, Beth, Hoopalicious, and the list goes on… I wanted to do what they did, so I visited sites like Hooping.org, and I studied video tutorials. I also researched the websites of those who inspired me.

I will never forget the day when I logged onto The Hoop Path website for the first time. I read Jonathan Baxter’s story with amazement. Here was a man talking openly about his experience with depression… an illness that I had spent my entire life hiding. On the site, Bax credits his rigorous hoop practice as the healing tool that enabled him to successfully overcome depression. He says he started to notice that his depression struck less often, felt less oppressive and the breakdowns didn’t last as long. As a result, he was filled with hope. He also compared the rocking sensation created by the hoop to a baby rocking in its cradle… soothing, calm and quiet. Tears slid down my cheeks as I read his words. In that moment, I realized the same thing was happening for me. It had been months since I had a breakdown. Could it be that my new-found fascination with the hoop was really helping me overcome depression? This realization floored me.

From that point on, I felt a strong connection to The Hoop Path, and I wanted to meet Bax and learn from him first-hand. So, I bought a ticket to the 2008 Hoop Path Retreat in Carborro, NC. In Hoop Path language, this makes me a ‘second-ringer’ (Similar to annual rings on a tree, with each retreat, the community grows and more rings are added).

In June of 2008, I traveled to North Carolina with my hoop dance troupe, The Hoola Monsters. We had recently formed our group, and a few of us had just become certified to teach classes. I was so excited (and nervous) about the event. Last year, if I had to categorize myself, in terms of skill level, I would have put myself at the ‘beginner/ just branching into intermediate’ category.

By nature, I am a competitive person. So, when I arrived at the retreat, I couldn’t help but compare myself to some of the other, more skilled hoopers. It was a humbling experience for me. At home, people would compliment my hooping regularly. At the ’08 retreat, I was a newbie with lots to learn. There were times that brought me to tears, but Bax’s words provided balance in those moments of frustration. He talked about self-love and discovering your own path. I was learning not to put so much pressure on myself. I was learning how to be patient and accepting of who I am, at any given moment in time. It’s not about how good you can be. It’s about how good you can feel.

I vividly remember a time in one of the workshops where I started crying and broke away from the group. The tears were flowing and I couldn’t stop them. In that moment, I felt arms embrace me. I didn’t know who was hugging me, but I hugged back and that support was exactly what I needed. The hugger’s name is Lauren, and she was there for me before we ever even spoke. Needless to say, the ’08 retreat marked the beginning of some amazing friendships.

The 2008 retreat was a cleansing experience for me. I would go so far as to say that it was life-changing. I expelled the negative energy inside of me. I literally danced it away, and I felt rejuvenated afterwards.

I’ve been looking forward to this year’s retreat since the day I left Carborro last year. I wanted to see my hoop sisters and brothers, and I wanted to revel in Baxter’s teachings again.

In the weeks leading up to the 2009 retreat, I spent lots of time on the phone with my out-of-state hooper friends, especially Lauren and Kacey. I hadn’t seen Lauren since last year’s retreat, and I really hadn’t hooped with Kacey since she introduced me to hooping in the first place. They were both going to be at the retreat, and I was so excited to see them.

I had a slumber party at my house the night before our Carborro road trip. Cassandra (a fellow HoopGirl Workout teacher), Kiyla (a member of my troupe) and Amy (one of my students) slept over. We had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. in order to make it to Carborro for the first event of the weekend. We were giddy with excitement, as we finished packing and went over the retreat schedule. We knew it was going to be an incredible experience…