Do you believe in affirmations?  There’s purpose to our existence, and if we take the time to recognize Universal signs, then we wind up exactly where we are supposed to be.  It’s not a new thought:  being in tune with the world around us, that is.  And recognizing when we’re on the right path becomes an important part of the journey.

Writing this book is straight up freaking me out… for so many reasons.  Obviously, the content itself is scary.  I’m writing about the things that I’ve spent my entire life trying to hide.  I’m taking a big magnifying glass, and I’m looking closely at the scary stuff, in an effort to heal myself and to provide a message of inspiration for those who relate to my story and are open to change.

As I reflect on my old journals, sometimes the words don’t even feel like my own.  Remember that scene in the “Neverending Story” where Bastian doesn’t realize that he’s the one the book is about, until the very end?  It’s kind of like that dejavu feeling…   like my former self is a shadow of who I am today, and like I’m reading someone else’s story.  Our experiences make us who we are, but we can transform our lives in ways that we never imagined were possible.

The affirmations… they come when you are connected to your soul’s purpose.  I feel really good today.  I started my morning with yoga, and then I had a meeting with my business partner.  I know that big things are on the horizon for my company, and I feel mentally strong and capable. I need to feel like this when I tackle the hardest parts of my book.  So, I returned home after my meeting and worked on the “Rock Bottom” section of my book… the time in my life where the depression almost sucked me into a big, black hole.  Months ago, I placed paper clips in my journal so I would know exactly where to find the “rock bottom” journal entries.

Today, I flipped to a journal entry that was especially hard for me to read, much less re-write in book form.  I was 25 years old, depressed, and having trouble making sense of the world around me.  I had recently received a phone call in the middle of the night and learned that a dear friend, Aaron, had passed away unexpectedly in a car crash.  Aaron was Brad’s best friend.

This is what I wrote in my journal:

This world is such a cruel place.  Sometimes, I feel like I’ve lost faith in everyone and everything.  I don’t know how God could have taken Aaron away from us too.  I don’t know anything anymore.  I think that God had it all wrong, and it should have been me who died – not Brad or Aaron.

These are some of the scariest emotions that I’ve ever dealt with.  Today, I wrote feverishly and bulldozed through the hardest pages.  And as I reflected on the words of my former self, I thought about how much I have changed and evolved.  I thought about my friends and family who are still here, on this Earth.  I thought about the people who love me and who I love in return.  I thought about beauty in nature and about the importance of doing the things we are most passionate about.  I thought about my dog and how she makes me smile every day.  And I thought about how much I’ve changed and how beautiful life can be.  Just as I prepared to close my hand-written book, I flipped back to the beginning of that journal entry and noticed the date:  September 20, 2004.  Today’s date.

Sure, you could call it a coincidence.  I prefer to call it an affirmation.

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