Defining the Book and Blog

About the Book
Raw and real, this book is an introspective look into the world of depression and suicide through the eyes of a survivor. Writings include reflections, journal exerpts and poetry over a 20-year period. This is a story of internal conflict, self-awareness and hope, as the author takes you on a journey into her world. It’s about finding the light in unconventional ways and learning how to make positive changes to become a happier and healthier person, from the inside out.

In my own words
I am not a doctor, and I am not a psychiatrist. I can’t offer you advice, and I won’t tell you how to live or think. I have not spent years in classes, studying mental illness. Most of what I know, I’ve learned through my own experiences.

What I can offer is a different perspective. No clinical definitions or evaluations. Just my story. As someone who has both suffered from depression and coped with the loss of a loved one who committed suicide, I understand the magnitude of this illness. I know that it’s just as powerful and life-threatening as cancer and AIDS. I also know that it doesn’t have to consume you and that it is possible to find the light.

About the Blog
I started keeping journals at the age of 5. These hand-written books chronicle my life. For as long as I can remember, writing has been my release and it’s been therapeutic for me. I wasn’t “officially” diagnosed with depression until 2007, but it’s been there all along, and there’s no hiding it when I reflect on my writings. My journals are filled with thoughts and feelings that I never intended for anyone to read. But I came to the realization recently that I have the power to help other people who suffer by sharing my story, and that’s exactly what I am going to do.

I didn’t realize this at the time, but I’ve been writing my book for most of my life. Now, it’s a matter of organizing my words and putting them into a format for a general audience… for you or for someone you know who might benefit from it. Going through my diaries is an emotional roller coaster. I put my dark thoughts on paper; I turned the pages, and I closed the books. Now, I’m opening those books again, with the intention of helping people. The organizing and writing process is turning out to be an emotional journey. The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my feelings and revelations as my story unfolds into a novel.