To be happy, one must acknowledge things for the way they are at any given moment in time. We must make a conscious effort to seek acceptance. It may not be easy, but it’s necessary for our well-being, mental health and spiritual growth.
So often, we set expectations, and many times, these expectations lead us to internal conflict. It’s human nature to fantasize and to envision the way that we want things to be. Setting goals and developing positive intentions is important. But if things do not manifest the way that you envision them to, that does not mean you should give up on the end result. I spoke with a dear friend about this last night, and his words resonate. My friend lives this way (in the now), and he’s one of the most positive people I’ve ever met.
These revelations are coming to me as I work to seek clarity in a situation that is/was clouding my thought process. Relationships tend to confuse me most…. I think that everyone wants love, and I am hopeful that my life’s path will lead me to it. My intention is set. I envision myself in a loving, healthy relationship because my heart craves it. However, I know that patience is a virtue, and I recognize the need to honor each and every experience along the way. All I can do is be true to myself and true to the moments that I am blessed with. I’m learning to have faith in knowing that things will unfold the way they are meant to.
I met someone about eight months ago. There was an instant connection, and I began to develop feelings for this person right away. When we met, he was only here for a few months, visiting family and friends. And even though our time together was short, it was significant. When he returned home to California after his extended vacation, I was heart-broken to see him go.
In the months that followed, we did not do a very good job keeping in touch, for multiple reasons (he doesn’t have a computer, our work schedules often conflict, the time change between FL and CA, etc.). So, when he told me he would be visiting for a week, I wasn’t sure how I would feel when I saw him again. Would the connection be as strong as it was before? And if so, would I be willing to open up my heart to the sadness that I will inevitably feel when he leaves again? These fears and reservations are natural, but they can be powerful and toxic too.
I’m realizing now that my fantasy, my expectation, of the way I want things to be (even if only in my subconscious) may prevent me from being present in the moment. I develop scenarios in my mind, and I worry… wondering how he feels, if the relationship would/ could ever work, etc. These are natural thoughts, but at the same time, I’m recognizing that there is beauty in the unknown. Being here now is what matters most. For example, who’s to say that if we lived in the same city and tried to make it work that it would be an ideal situation?
Life is not black or white. We live in color, and I choose to ride the wave of emotion and have the full experience of each and every moment. Projecting fears for the future and exerting energy worrying about what could happen or what might not happen will only prevent you from enjoying the beauty of now.
We experience emotion, and we may not like the fact that our reality is different than the way we envision things to be. But it’s important not to lose sight of where we are right now. Enjoy the journey. There will never be another moment exactly like this one, so embrace it and know that you are more powerful than your fears. You only have so much energy to exude, so use it wisely. Quiet the thoughts and feelings that stem from negativity, worry and distress. In doing so, you will create more space for the moments that fill your heart with love and light. Tomorrow will be what it will. Be present in the now.